How I Met Your Mother by Monty Brinton/CBS Dancing with the Stars, ABC, 8/7c
There are tons more performances and skimpy costumes this week.
The Bachelor: London Calling, 9:30/8:30c
Matt goes on two fancy dates tonight… a movie premiere and a trip to Ojai. Who will accompany the sexy Brit and will it their dates go well?
The Big Bang Theory, CBS, 8/7c
Penny has to nurse an annoyingly sick Sheldon back to health.
How I Met Your Mother, CBS, 8:30/7:30c
Barney uses the basketball bracket system to eliminate women who may be out to ruin his reputation. There's 64 spots in that bracket… something tells me that wouldn't even scratch Barney's black book's surface.
New Amsterdam, FOX, 9/8c
A murder in Chinatown makes John reflect back on a son he lost in the early 20th century.
CSI: Miami, CBS, 10/9c
Part 1 of 2: Horatio investigate a murder involving Julia (Elizabeth Berkeley); Calleigh is cyberstalked.
Medium, NBC, 10/9c
Part 2: Allison continues to investigate a decade old kidnapping involving her boss, Cynthia Keener's daughter; Joe pursues his invention idea.
The Hills, MTV, 9/8c
Whitney must choose between safety at Teen Vogue or switching up careers.
Jack Black at The Kid's Choice Awards by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com Saturday
Torchwood, BBC America, 9/8c
Night Travelers leave their victims hovering between life and death. Creepy.
AWARDS SHOW ALERT: Kids' Choice Awards, NICKELODEON, 8/7c
Jack Black hosts the slime-ridden show where kids pick their faves in music, movies and TV.
Mad TV, FOX, 11/10c
Check out a parody of rapper Flo Rida's "Low" features actors as Obama and Oprah.
Sunday
Dog Whisperer, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC, 8/7c
Cesar deals with a devil of a Chihuahua.
Everybody Hates Chris, CW, 8/7c
Chris agrees to help his brother track down his idol Wayne Gretzky.
The Simpsons, FOX, 8/7c
Lisa enrolls in ballet and realizes she's amazing… only after inhaling second-hand smoke.
Zoey 101, NICKELODEON, 8/7c
Zoey's friends barge in on a special night she has planned with James.
Cold Case, CBS, 9/8c
Lilly and the gang seek justice for a popular deaf teen who went missing from his high school in 2006.
John Adams, HBO, 9/8c
Following the surrender of the Cornwalls at Yorktown, John reunites with Abigail in paris. He later becomes the American Ambassador to London.
Masterpiece Theater: Sense and Sensibility, PBS, 9/8c
The classic tale about sisters Elinor, Marianne and Margaret Dashwood.
Oprah's Big Give, ABC, 9/8c
Danica Patrick sends the contestants on a wild ride.
SEASON PREMIERE ALERT: The Tudors, SHOWTIME, 9/8c
Henry responds to the Reformation by forming his own sect, The Church of England. Lots of hot bodice ripping love scenes as well.
Dirt, FX, 10/9c
Don starts up a friendship with a tabloid-bashing pop-princess.
Tracey Ullman: The State of the Union, SHOWTIME, 10/9c
The series will tackle vignettes about daily life in America.
In Treatment's Melissa George as Laura by Claudette Barius/HBO Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search, CMT, 8/7c
Tonight's "Don’t Stop Dancing" challenge takes a toll on one of the remaining wannabes.
The Return of Jezebel James, 8:30/7:30c
Coco decides to get a job so her mom stops dropping in unannounced.
Battlestar Galactica: Revealed, SCI FI, 10/9c
Catch up on the best frakkin' show on TV before Season 4 begins. Creators Ron Moore and David Eick review the first three seasons, as well as celebs weighing in on how they love the show.
SEASON FINALE ALERT: Free Radio, VH1, 9:30/8:30c
Ray Ramano and Fred Willard stop by KBOM.
SEASON FINALE ALERT: In Treatment, HBO, 9:30/8:30c
After 9 weeks and 43 episodes, Paul finally gets a break from the crazies. Tonight, Paul succumbs to his urges and visits Laura. Uh-oh.
Piers Morgan and Trace Adkins on The Apprentice courtesy NBC SEASON FINALE ALERT: Celebrity Apprentice, NBC, 9/8
Two-hour finale (are you serious?) for the final two contests who are competing to organize the most successful charity auction.
Celebrity Fit Club, VH1, 9/8c
Dunkleman leaves in a huff to attend his wedding… he's getting married?
Reaper, CW, 9/8c
Sam hunts an insecure soul who preys on women she feels are more beautiful than she is.
In Treatment, HBO, 9:30/8:30c
Jake and Amy finally come to a conclusion about what to do with their relationship…we're begging them to end it at this point.
Eli Stone, ABC, 10/9c
George Michael returns to ask Eli to help a girl who is in trouble for playing one of George's naughty songs during an assembly on abstinence. Heh.
Miss Guided, ABC, 8/7c and 8:30/7:30c
Please watch this show…it's so great! Becky Freeley (Judy Greer) returns to her high school as a guidance counselor… she's got a crush on a hot teacher, her nemesis returns to steal her thunder, and a doofus of a vice principal all driving her nuts.